Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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