Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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