oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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