i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
