why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize