i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
