grandma shit on top of the toilet
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
