Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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