If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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