you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize