Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
