I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
did i just pee glitter
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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