Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
