Porn is love you can see.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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