First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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