Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
