lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
