He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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