I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
