I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
