That reminds me...we need to get swords
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I would ride that face into the sunset
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
