you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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