Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
