one might say we're banned from that church
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize