Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i wish my penis had a tongue
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
