There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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