I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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