We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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