They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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