just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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