kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Michael Bay diarrhea
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You are a genius and a whore.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
