took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
