I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
