I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She's the barista slut.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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