Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
