Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
