haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize