I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
