I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
