fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
