Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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