My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
