How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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