so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
