there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
