It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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