Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
