Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
