Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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