me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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