Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
