That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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