Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
