I think im going to throw up on grandma
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Why did my mother make you get naked?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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