Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
