Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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