In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
