fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
