Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize