Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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