I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
me + whiskey = a bad person
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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