im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
