Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize