better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
