Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

Everything we own is covered in grass and KY

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(408): View more from California

You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.

Fav 15 4654 1100
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(630): View more from Illinois

I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important

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(201): View more from New Jersey

you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct

(973): View more from New Jersey

that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand

(201): View more from New Jersey

she's a dina-saur

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(785): View more from Kansas

In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.

Fav 20 1178 2705
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!

(715): View more from Wisconsin

I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.

Fav 6 460 995
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(207): View more from Maine

I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.

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