With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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