All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
